Old Grail-Keeper's Dire Warning:

       Go back!

       Don't even think of entering this dreadful place!
   Its horrible secrets were not meant for the innocent
   of heart.  Go back while you still have legs to carry
   you forth!

       If you venture over this threshold, you may never
   return this way again.  It is a fearful thing to see
   a hideous Dragon lunging at you, claws grasping your
   flesh, eyes burning with hunger!  Go back!  I beseech
   you!  Go Back!

       You have bare seconds to act...He's awake!  Flee
   while you can!  Go!!!

       Beyond lie arcane matters--things of no interest
   to the meek and humble...You have no need of ancient
   gossip about Kings and Templars and Pyramids--or the
   Eden Alabaster, the Holy Grail, the Fisher King and
   his old Spear...What business is it of the unspoilt
   to meddle in Mermaid mysteries and Martian cannibals?

       Go back, I say!

       Shrink from this sad quest! Retreat! Ponder not
   these puzzles rare.  Leave them be!  Go!  Flee!

       Why are you still here?  What baleful curiosity
   stays your flight?  Wizards?  Shrines?  Pillars of
   Fire?  Hidden families of regal line, the chasms of
   antiquarian time?  Tell me, what holds you here? Is
   not the Dragon's fiery breath enough?  Must you taste
   his gory incisors too?  Swallow his severed tongue?

       Fie! You are a stubborn one!

       Go then, go on in! Go to your fate! Devour your
   little Dragon...if you can!  Pry open the Gates of
   Wisdom!  Ascend the Throne of Knowldege and crown
   yourself with Revelation.  Surely you won't pause
   now... Why, it's just a little Dragon.  Nothing to
   worry a Mighty One like you!

       Ah! Having second thoughts?  Good!  I knew you'd
   come about once the Dragon's scorching wind caught
   your sail!  So there!  You'll miss nothing.  Joseph
   of Arimathea and his Celtic smuggling? Rubbish!  The
   secret chronologies and forgotten histories? Nonsense!
   Alexander's horns, Jerome's lost scrolls, Ravenna's
   odd mosaics, Abel's missing body, Petra's vanished
   corpses--who cares?  Off with you!  Begone!

       What detains your departure?  Surely you don't
   think I'd give you any clues, do you?  I'll assist
   you well enough if you go.

       What's this?  You aren't leaving?  Oh, all right
   then... If you must have a clue, you should know that
   I am forbidden to reveal exactly where to look for all
   the correct answers you seek, yet would I tell, you'd
   know certain.  But I can't.  I won't!  I shan't, that
   is...or have I?  Never mind a thing I say!  Nonsense,
   all nonsense!

       Off with you!  Off!
       Go home!  And take your slimy giants and mutilated
   carcasses with you!  Remove your little aliens---and
   the tall ones too!  Deliver me of all your man-eating
   friends!  They're all dragons to me!

       So begone!  No more clues for you.  You left-handed
   twin of wing'ed father!  Corpus morti!  Genus perfectus!
   Ha!  Vile offspring of a flying reptile!

       What! Still here?  I can't believe it!

       Have you no sense?  Do you love torment?  You must!
   You've listened to me long enough. What a contrary sort
   you are!  Well then, I can play that game too--

       Search high and low, far and wide!  Ride, oh boldly
   ride!  If you search out El Dragone!

       Do not ignore the smallest hints, nor overlook the
   slightest detail.  Why, the answers could all be right
   in front of you!  Or behind you...  Ha!

       Now I've done with you.  So, be off!  Joust among
   aliens and imagine yourself implanted with a knightly
   thrust.  You give me the Willies, all of you sinister
   young scions of Scottish plaid...You and your cosmic
   army of blue, veiled in Mystery, beaded with incense,
   but rendered by children!  You think we don't know?

       Oh, what am I saying?  You're not one of them, are
   you?  No, you're too kindly, too pure of heart.  You
   must forgive an old Grail-Keeper's anguished ramblings.
   Pay me no mind.  None at all.  No toll here.

       Just remember what Solomon said:  Those who repeat
   the lessons of the Past must be 12,000 years old...

       No, wait. That's not it. Oh I know...To everything
   there is a seasaw--  No, that's quite right, is it?  I
   can't remember.  Too bad.  It would have been a lovely
   clue.  Oh, my.  I am grown weary.  Then I must go.

       Hurry off with you now.  Get on with it.

       And lest I forget, May God have mercy on your soul!


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"Okay, I'm going! I'm going!"
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