Don't even think of entering this dreadful place!
Its horrible secrets were not meant for the innocent
of heart. Go back while you still have legs to carry
If you venture over this threshold, you may never
return this way again. It is a fearful thing to see
a hideous Dragon lunging at you, claws grasping your
flesh, eyes burning with hunger! Go back! I beseech
you! Go Back!
You have bare seconds to act...He's awake! Flee
while you can! Go!!!
Beyond lie arcane matters--things of no interest
to the meek and humble...You have no need of ancient
gossip about Kings and Templars and Pyramids--or the
Eden Alabaster, the Holy Grail, the Fisher King and
his old Spear...What business is it of the unspoilt
to meddle in Mermaid mysteries and Martian cannibals?
Go back, I say!
Shrink from this sad quest! Retreat! Ponder not
these puzzles rare. Leave them be! Go! Flee!
Why are you still here? What baleful curiosity
stays your flight? Wizards? Shrines? Pillars of
Fire? Hidden families of regal line, the chasms of
antiquarian time? Tell me, what holds you here? Is
not the Dragon's fiery breath enough? Must you taste
his gory incisors too? Swallow his severed tongue?
Fie! You are a stubborn one!
Go then, go on in! Go to your fate! Devour your
little Dragon...if you can! Pry open the Gates of
Wisdom! Ascend the Throne of Knowldege and crown
yourself with Revelation. Surely you won't pause
now... Why, it's just a little Dragon. Nothing to
worry a Mighty One like you!
Ah! Having second thoughts? Good! I knew you'd
come about once the Dragon's scorching wind caught
your sail! So there! You'll miss nothing. Joseph
of Arimathea and his Celtic smuggling? Rubbish! The
secret chronologies and forgotten histories? Nonsense!
Alexander's horns, Jerome's lost scrolls, Ravenna's
odd mosaics, Abel's missing body, Petra's vanished
corpses--who cares? Off with you! Begone!
What detains your departure? Surely you don't
think I'd give you any clues, do you? I'll assist
you well enough if you go.
What's this? You aren't leaving? Oh, all right
then... If you must have a clue, you should know that
I am forbidden to reveal exactly where to look for all
the correct answers you seek, yet would I tell, you'd
know certain. But I can't. I won't! I shan't, that
is...or have I? Never mind a thing I say! Nonsense,
Off with you! Off!
Go home! And take your slimy giants and mutilated
carcasses with you! Remove your little aliens---and
the tall ones too! Deliver me of all your man-eating
friends! They're all dragons to me!
So begone! No more clues for you. You left-handed
twin of wing'ed father! Corpus morti! Genus perfectus!
Ha! Vile offspring of a flying reptile!
What! Still here? I can't believe it!
Have you no sense? Do you love torment? You must!
You've listened to me long enough. What a contrary sort
you are! Well then, I can play that game too--
Search high and low, far and wide! Ride, oh boldly
ride! If you search out El Dragone!
Do not ignore the smallest hints, nor overlook the
slightest detail. Why, the answers could all be right
in front of you! Or behind you... Ha!
Now I've done with you. So, be off! Joust among
aliens and imagine yourself implanted with a knightly
thrust. You give me the Willies, all of you sinister
young scions of Scottish plaid...You and your cosmic
army of blue, veiled in Mystery, beaded with incense,
but rendered by children! You think we don't know?
Oh, what am I saying? You're not one of them, are
you? No, you're too kindly, too pure of heart. You
must forgive an old Grail-Keeper's anguished ramblings.
Pay me no mind. None at all. No toll here.
Just remember what Solomon said: Those who repeat
the lessons of the Past must be 12,000 years old...
No, wait. That's not it. Oh I know...To everything
there is a seasaw-- No, that's quite right, is it? I
can't remember. Too bad. It would have been a lovely
clue. Oh, my. I am grown weary. Then I must go.
Hurry off with you now. Get on with it.
And lest I forget, May God have mercy on your soul!